When Your Productive, Efficient Colleague Loses Her Mojo

The Hidden Impact of Untalked-About Menopause at Work 

You walk into the office. 

Something feels off. 

The team meeting is tense. Your usually calm colleague snaps. Another person ducks into the bathroom for the third time that morning. You assume it’s stress. But what if it’s something else? 

Maybe it’s a colleague you rely on; someone who’s always been sharp, steady, and on the ball. But lately, something’s changed. She’s more withdrawn, forgetful, or short with others. You’re not sure what’s going on, and you’re not sure how to ask. 

Here’s the thing: perimenopause and menopause are a natural part of life. Yet at work, they’re still cloaked in silence. And when they show up as mood shifts, fatigue, or emotional reactivity, they don’t just affect the individual, they ripple through the team. 

Whether you’re a leader, a peer, or a people professional, emotional contagion matters. And if no one’s naming what’s happening, culture suffers, and good people start slipping through the cracks. 

What Is Emotional Contagion?

Emotional contagion is the invisible spread of moods and emotions within a group. One person’s anxiety, frustration, or joy can quickly shape the emotional climate of an entire meeting or workplace. 

Think about a time when someone walked into a meeting clearly irritated, slamming a chair, sighing loudly, or responding sharply. Even if they didn’t say much, the tension spread. People held back, energy dropped, and suddenly the room felt flat. That’s emotional contagion in action. 

For leaders, this matters deeply. Your emotional tone sets the pace. A sigh, an eye-roll, or a short tone doesn’t stay with you, it travels. Now imagine this in the context of perimenopause or menopause, where symptoms are unpredictable and often misunderstood.

Menopause at Work: The Hidden Layer

Menopause isn’t just hot flushes. At work, it can look like:

• Brain fog and memory lapses

• Sleep-deprived fatigue

• Heightened anxiety or irritability

• Tearfulness or mood swings

• Fluctuating confidence

These aren’t performance flaws. They’re human responses to hormonal turbulence. Yet because symptoms are invisible, they’re often misinterpreted. 

A woman in perimenopause isn’t “being difficult.” She’s navigating a body that feels unfamiliar, while still showing up, contributing, and leading. 

Without awareness, emotional contagion takes over. Heightened emotions ripple outward, and suddenly the whole team feels it. Tension builds, misunderstandings grow, and the workplace culture suffers.

The Cost of Silence

When menopause stays unspoken at work, the cost is high:

• Women hide symptoms to avoid judgement, burning out in silence

• Leaders mislabel behaviour as disengagement or poor performance

• Trust and team dynamics erode

And it’s not just theory. Our Hot, Foggy & Fabulous Research Project confirms the impact:
89% of women said menopause or perimenopause symptoms affected their experience at work
72% said they had to “push through” while struggling physically or emotionally
Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) had either left a role, reduced their hours, or turned down a promotion due to symptoms 

These aren’t small ripples. They’re career-changing outcomes. 

“I was capable, but I felt like I was disappearing at work. No one knew what I was going through.” - HFF Participant 

And over my 15+ years of supporting SMEs with their HR and emotional intelligence development, I’ve seen this happen again and again. Even in great workplaces with strong values and well-intentioned leaders, the absence of open, safe conversation about menopause can quietly start to chip away at trust, psychological safety, and culture. 

When it’s not talked about, it’s misunderstood. 

When it’s misunderstood, it’s mislabelled. 

And that mislabelling damages good people, and good cultures. 

Because in the absence of open conversation, even well-intentioned people start making assumptions. They fill in the gaps with their own stories; stories that may not be true, but feel real enough to shape how they treat others. That’s how trust erodes. That’s how confusion grows. And that’s how great people and great workplaces quietly lose their edge.

Compassion Isn’t About Making Assumptions

Understanding that something might be going on doesn’t mean leaders should assume what it is or quietly label someone as “going through menopause.”
Emotional intelligence in leadership means creating psychological safety, not drawing conclusions, but opening the door to honest, respectful conversations.
Instead of making assumptions, great leaders focus on:

• Creating space: “I’ve noticed some changes lately, how are you going?”

• Naming impact without blame: “There was some tension in the meeting yesterday, and I want to check in.”

• Reinforcing culture with care: “We all have off days. If something’s going on, let’s find a way to support you, while also keeping the team supported too.”

This is the leadership balance: empathy without assumptions, and support without lowering behavioural standards.

When leaders approach situations this way, they build trust, reduce stigma, and allow people to speak up if and when they’re ready; without fear of judgement or consequence.

What Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Do DifferentlyThe good news? Emotionally 

intelligent leadership can change the story.

Here’s how:
✅ Notice without judgement – Observe shifts in behaviour with curiosity, not criticism
✅ Foster safety – Create a culture where employees can say, “I’m having a tough day,” without fear
✅ Lead with empathy – Acknowledge the struggle, even if you don’t fully understand it
✅ Offer flexibility – Adjust meeting times, deadlines, or expectations when needed
✅ Invest in education – Train leaders in emotional intelligence and communication skills

Practical tools help too, DISC profiling to understand stress styles, EQ training to build awareness, and wellbeing policies that explicitly include menopause.

Untabooing the Conversation

Menopause may be a natural phase of life, but ignoring it at work comes at a cultural cost. Leaders who choose empathy over silence don’t just retain talent, they create environments where everyone can thrive, no matter what season of life they’re in.

The truth is: we are not talking about menopause at work enough. Untabooing the conversation is the first step toward healthier, more emotionally intelligent workplaces.

Final Word

You don’t need to be an expert in hormones to support someone going through a tough season.

But if you’re leading a team, or even just sitting beside someone who seems different lately, emotional intelligence helps you tune in with empathy, hold space without assumption, and respond with care.

This isn’t about fixing. It’s about noticing, naming, and normalising.
Because when we untaboo menopause at work, we don’t just change the experience for women, we change the workplace for everyone.

Ready to turn awareness into action?

If you’re seeing the ripple effects of mood shifts, disengagement, or team tension and want to lead with clarity and care, here’s where to start:

🧰 Join the waitlist for the Hot, Foggy & Fabulous™ Workplace Conversations Toolkit and Card Deck

Practical, powerful tools designed to spark real, respectful dialogue in your team.

🤝 Book an exploration call with Susan Judd
Let’s co-create a tailored workshop or session that helps your leaders build a culture of care, by untabooing the conversations that matter.

👉 Book your call with Susan today.
Because the sooner we talk about it, the better everyone feels at work.